When people found out that Drew's biological dad, Asi, was coming back into our lives after being gone for 15 yrs (not by his choice- he would've given anything to have been here)- I got a lot of questions like "Is that going to be weird?" & "How do you feel about that?" It got me thinking about family. I'd like to share some of my own thoughts mixed in with some wise words from Pres. Hinckley's daughter, Virginia Hinckley Pearce.
The little nuclear family that is created by a man & a woman & their children is so uniquely different. They blend their personalities, temperaments, talents, & quirky ways into an identity that is uniquely theirs- their own family culture. This family then extends into grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, sisters, brothers, etc. Each family develops their own culture. Cam & I definitely have. The things we do, the things we don't do. The things that I worry about, the things that I ignore or overlook. The routine of my household. The mood rhythms. The way we handle money & the way we choose to spend our time. The way we interact with each other & with our children & our friends, neighbors, etc. I respect that we may be more or less playful/serious/focused/goal-oriented/casual/spontaneous/calm/wild- (you get my point) than other's families. The whole point of all of it is this: I believe there are many, many different ways to be a good, happy family. I worry that we sometimes look at others & narrow our ideas of what that may be. Some of us seem to think that all righteous families must follow the same family routine, they must all interact in the same ways, & follow the same behavioral prescriptions. C.S. Lewis said "Sameness is to be found most among the most "natural" men, not among those who surrender to Christ. How monotonously alike all the great tyrants & conquerors have been; how gloriously different are the Saints"! If this is true for individuals, I believe it is also true of families! When parents strive to keep their covenants, enabling the Spirit to work in their lives, every family will be wonderfully different. And we could be comparing less & celebrating more!!
I know that Asi being a big part of our life may seem "weird" to others- but it couldn't feel more natural to me. He IS my family. I love him, as does Cameron, Drew, & all my other kids. He loves us all & shows us constantly. I couldn't be happier to have him be in our lives. And although that may not seem so "normal" to some- I'll just say this: I've NEVER claimed to be normal nor strived to be! My family is unique (sometimes dysfunctional- although I prefer the term "flavorful" ;0)
I love my wonderful husband, Cam, & my sweet kids with all my heart! I"m proud to have them as my family! And that family includes Asi! Welcome home Asi! We love you!
8 comments:
You brought tears to my eyes.
Well said.
What is "normal" anyway? I haven't found anyone who is normal or perfect. And, I often don't come real close. The spirit is found where love abides; which it shows you feel together. I love the pictures, and am happy for you all!
what a beautiful post! i love your crazy beautiful family!! you are a wonderful example of what a great mother and wife should be. i love you girl!! xoxo
I don't care what anybody says- I love your family! Your kids and husband are lucky to have you, that's for sure! Family isn't a "one-size fits all" and there are many definitions as to what constitutes "father" or "mother"- and it doesn't just include biology. I know that Drew will always consider Cam to be his father and I think it's great that he is mature enough to have a relationship with his birth father! That relationship will only strengthen Drew and your family's love for one another.
You have such great insight into what families really should be like. You are teaching you kids such great life lessons and I know they will be great like you are.
p.s. - Drew looks SO much like Asi huh!!!
I love it! Isn't wonderful when our hearts stretch and grow and then our minds can follow.
No worries on checking schedules I remember that all to well. But yes i am doing photo shoots on Halloween day when the kids are out. I have two times left, 9-11am or 2-4pm. Do either of those work for you guys?
Simply put....that was a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing. Welcome home Asi! Love ya Nat! Amby
Nicely said. I think we all need to, as you put it, "compare less and celebrate more"! This life is too short to worry about anything else. Just enjoy all we've been given and give thanks for it.
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